Ricky Gervais Golden Globes 2011

Ricky Gervais Golden Globes 2011, “The Globes are just like the Oscars, except without all that…esteem,” Ricky Gervais quipped while hosting the Globes with typical-Gervais dryness. No matter its prestige, the Golden Globes kick-off each year’s award season, bring insight into Oscar speculation and are significantly easier to sit through than the stilted Academy Awards.

Where else will censors scramble against Meryl Streep or George Clooney thanking Michael Fassbender for his full-frontal nudity?

The list of the 2012 Academy Award nominees, announced Tuesday, did little to shake the premise that the Golden Globes are accurate predictors of Oscar contenders. True, neither of the past two years’ Best Picture Oscars (“The King’s Speech” and “The Hurt Locker”) won their Golden Globe counterpart, but Best Actor and Best Actress winners have lined up over the last five years, and the Golden Globes generally narrow the field.

Barring a major upset, then, it’s safe to say that the “winner” and conversational centerpiece of the Feb. 26 ceremony will be either “The Artist,” “The Decendants” or “Hugo.”

“The Artist” won the Golden Globe for Best Comedy and received 10 Oscar nominations, and “The Descendants” won the Golden Globe for Best Drama and garnered a respectable five Oscar nominations. Martin Scorsese won the Golden Globe Best Director for “Hugo,” which swept the Oscar nominations with 11 nods.

Compared to the uncertainty of the last few years, this is a win-win-win situation for movie lovers: Two artistic and ambitious tributes to cinema and a skillfully eloquent film from Nebraska native Alexander Payne (with a stunning Hawaiian soundtrack unfortunately unqualified for any awards). Those still bitter that the spectacle-laden “Avatar” was even a contender two years ago should take note that it’s a black-and-white, silent French film that appears to lead the pack this year. Co-star Berenice Bejo has said that she and writer-director, Michel Hazanavicius, were so convinced “The Artist” wouldn’t even see a United States release that they planned to send DVDs to the American cast and crew so they’d have a chance to see it.

Gripers need not fear, however, because there were a surprising number of snubs and perplexing decisions. “Melancholia,” a beautiful film that won The National Society of Film Critic’s Best Film prize and Best Actress for Kristen Dunst, was completely overlooked. Elizabeth Olsen, with a pitch-perfect debut in the creepy “Martha Marcy May Marlene” is missing as well, leaving us with a frustratingly out-of-touch Best Actress list. “Drive,” deservingly one of the most talked about films of 2011, only received a nod for “Best Sound Editing.” Its Best Picture prospects were shaky at best, but Ryan Gosling no doubt earned a place on the Best Actor list for his role as the quietest psychopath in cinema.

Golden Globes

Golden Globes, Actress Natalie Portman arrives at the 69th annual Golden Globe Awards in Beverly Hills, California January 15, 2012. PHOTO: REUTERS

“I feel like five million dollars!”

Sofia Vergara’s red carpet comment at the Golden Globes updated the million-dollar phrase to today’s currency values. Clad in her signature form-fitting, mermaid style strapless gown (this time by Vera Wang), with massive Harry Winston diamond cuffs on her wrist, she was a sight to behold. Mature glamazon Helen Mirren, trendy as ever, sported no less than five trends listed below, while wildchild-turned-crusader Angelina Jolie surprised many with an elegant old Hollywood look. Here are some golden moments:

Gowns

Lengths: Typically floor-length and trailing.

Colours: Ranged from pale champagne, metallic gold, teal, and canary yellow. There was some interesting red detail which showcased glitter and beads.

Cuts and fitting

Strapless (Reese Witherspoon, Natalie Portman)
Form fitting
Cinched at the waist with a skirted flare (Salma Hayek)
Plunging necklines with a banded waistline (Evan Rachel Wood, Laura Dern, Emma Stone)
Trailing mermaid hemlines (Sofia Vergara)
Low backed (Claire Danes)
Hair

Swept back (in a bun if long enough)
Hair-bands (Charlize Theron, Michelle Williams)
Cascading curls (Salma Hayek)
Accessories

Matching glittery clutches: (Angelina Jolie, Zooey Deschanel)
Discreet jewellery: There was a significant lack of bling, with the exception of dazzlingly large diamond earrings worn by Missy Elliott and Kate Beckinsale
Tassle earrings
Chunky bracelets and cuffs
Make-up

Red, red lipstick
Lots of alabaster skin without fake tans
Honourary awards

Best looking presenters:

These pairs looked terrific presenting together (far better than with their respective spouses)

1. Channing Tatum and Jessica Alba (best bods, not brains)

2. Clive Owen and Nicole Kidman (imperfect masculine style with robotic feminine perfection)

3. Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek (an older version of ‘Desperado’)

4. Ashton Kutcher and Elle Macpherson (best cougar pairing)

Funniest moments at the Golden Globes

1. Ricky Gervais and Johnny Depp’s repartee (a continuation of last year’s ‘The Tourist’ cracks)

2. Ricky’s jibes at Justin Bieber’s doubtful fertility levels

3. Jimmy Fallon moving like Jagger

4. Ricky’s ‘Queen of Pop’ crack at Elton John

5. Madonna dissing Ricky G (her tongue’s as intimidating as her biceps)

Foreign name pronunciation awards

1. ‘Iran’ pronounced perfectly by Madonna (now Obama’s not the only one)

2. French nominees’ names pronounced correctly by Angelina (she must be sharing Maddox’s tutor)

Hottest grande dames

1. Jane Fonda (74)

2. Helen Mirren (66)

3. Michelle Pfeiffer (53)

4. Elle Macpherson (47)

Crappiest dress choices

1. Freida Pinto (you had all that to choose from and you picked THIS?!)

2. Jessica Biel (schoolmarm)

3. Lea Michele (trying too hard)

Cutest bromance

George Clooney and Brad Pitt