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Zoo To Split Up ‘Gay’ Penguins

November 7, 2011 by staff 

Zoo To Split Up ‘Gay’ Penguins, The gay hating zookeepers at the Toronto Zoo are about to do something awful. They’re going to break up a pair of male penguins, Buddy and his Latin lover Pedro, and make them have sex with women. How could they do that?

The pair of penguins came to Toronto from Toledo, and they were already a couple. They spend most of their time together and engage in the mating behavior that males and females usually exhibit toward each other. Now the officials in Canada (which is sarcastically well-known for being an evil and homophobic country) are going to separate them and make them mate with women because of their “top-notch genes” and the threat of the birds going extinct. Ugh, it’s so hard to be gay. People are always saying, “You’re so attractive and fit and have such great taste and you’re so intelligent. If I had to have a baby, I’d want it to be with you.”

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