Worst Gifts Ever
December 19, 2011 by staff
Worst Gifts Ever, With Christmas Day a week away, it’s not only adults who should be worrying about receiving truly awful gifts. ADAM ASPINALL spares a thought for the kids who find one of these hideous items in their stockings – and wonders just how naughty they must have been to deserve them.
1 POLE DANCING DOLL – £15
Every little girl loves her dolly. But mum and dad are sure to draw the line at this pole dancing minx – who struts under a glitterball while wearing a skimpy bikini! What was Santa thinking?
2 FISH BONING KIT – £8.99
It’s the present that will leave the kids gutted – learn the basics of de-boning a fish!
The perfect gift for future fishmongers – or maybe little Eskimo children.
3 GUNGE BATH – £20
Getting the kids to take a bath can prove troublesome. But fill it with sticky gunge and they are sure to take the plunge!
Just don’t bother to ask them to wash behind the ears…
4 PLAY-DOH DENTISTRY KIT – £20
A jaw-dropping rotting tooth toy for the budding sadist in all young children.
Never has a trip to the dentists been such a nightmare.
5 BABY SHAVING DOLL – £15
A doll, er, that you can shave. This toy certainly fell out of the ‘educational’ bracket early on in production. Quite why you need to shave baby is never made clear.
6 BREAST-FEEDING DOLL – £25
Breast feeding is the most natural thing in the world – if you are a MUM.
But this creepy doll comes with a special child harness which is fitted with false nipples, through which milk can be pumped.
7 BABY WEE WEE – £20
Your child can enjoy all the ‘fun’ of potty training with this delightful full-frontal doll which can urinate on command.
8 ZOMBIE BOOT CAMP GIFT VOUCHER – £59
Paintballing has become so passé. So why not send your child on this Droitwich Spa-based adventure – where they can shoot actors dressed as flesh-eating zombies.
9 HORROR GNOMES – £25
Meet Santa’s little HELL-pers, Stallholders at Birmingham’s German Market have been making a killing with these gruesome Christmas gnomes, including ones who have been hanged and stabbed.
10 DOGGIE DOO – £25
Kids feed a Dachsund plasticine blocks – then roll a dice to see who cleans up the resultant poop. Incredibly, this stinker of a toy has been the surprise hit of the year.
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