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Worst Gifts Ever

December 19, 2011 by staff 

Worst Gifts EverWorst Gifts Ever, With Christmas Day a week away, it’s not only adults who should be worrying about receiving truly awful gifts. ADAM ASPINALL spares a thought for the kids who find one of these hideous items in their stockings – and wonders just how naughty they must have been to deserve them.

1 POLE DANCING DOLL – £15

Every little girl loves her dolly. But mum and dad are sure to draw the line at this pole dancing minx – who struts under a glitterball while wearing a skimpy bikini! What was Santa thinking?

2 FISH BONING KIT – £8.99

It’s the present that will leave the kids gutted – learn the basics of de-boning a fish!

The perfect gift for future fishmongers – or maybe little Eskimo children.

3 GUNGE BATH – £20

Getting the kids to take a bath can prove troublesome. But fill it with sticky gunge and they are sure to take the plunge!

Just don’t bother to ask them to wash behind the ears…

4 PLAY-DOH DENTISTRY KIT – £20

A jaw-dropping rotting tooth toy for the budding sadist in all young children.

Never has a trip to the dentists been such a nightmare.

5 BABY SHAVING DOLL – £15

A doll, er, that you can shave. This toy certainly fell out of the ‘educational’ bracket early on in production. Quite why you need to shave baby is never made clear.

6 BREAST-FEEDING DOLL – £25

Breast feeding is the most natural thing in the world – if you are a MUM.

But this creepy doll comes with a special child harness which is fitted with false nipples, through which milk can be pumped.

7 BABY WEE WEE – £20

Your child can enjoy all the ‘fun’ of potty training with this delightful full-frontal doll which can urinate on command.

Ho-ho-NO!

8 ZOMBIE BOOT CAMP GIFT VOUCHER – £59

Paintballing has become so passé. So why not send your child on this Droitwich Spa-based adventure – where they can shoot actors dressed as flesh-eating zombies.

9 HORROR GNOMES – £25

Meet Santa’s little HELL-pers, Stallholders at Birmingham’s German Market have been making a killing with these gruesome Christmas gnomes, including ones who have been hanged and stabbed.

10 DOGGIE DOO – £25

Kids feed a Dachsund plasticine blocks – then roll a dice to see who cleans up the resultant poop. Incredibly, this stinker of a toy has been the surprise hit of the year.

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