Vices that are good for you

October 24, 2011 by staff 

Vices that are good for youVices that are good for you, It is said that the difference between women and men’s magazines is that magazines aimed at women is all about self-improvement, and men are larger than they are. I do most of my reading of the magazine in the checkout line at Kroger (also known as Roger K., thanks to Ms. Stone!). It seems that there is much truth in this.

I like to take advice on how to be better in every way (of course not as much as I like giving advice). However, this week an article entitled “10 vices that are actually good for you,” inspired me to read the content rather than just the headlines.

According to, things like chocolate, romance, coffee and wine are good for you. The article also lists the sun and holidays as “good” vices. What kind of fool does not know? And an even bigger question, when will these things be wonderful services? Challenge to the vice cop who wrote these laws.

Most women know that chocolate is therapeutic. Let’s face it sometimes you just can not take vacations. And, well, romance can be difficult to achieve. However, with three new coffee shops in Columbus alone, most of us can find the elixir of the gods. For those of us adults, the wine is also very easy to acquire.

The authors of this article must have forgotten to mention pets as a way to serenity and fulfillment. Kittens, puppies and all living beings (including house plants) sometimes are as beneficial as tranquilizers. No prescription needed. Of course, calling the pets a “vice” would be about as much of a stretch as calling the sunshine and sleep “vices”.

Apparently there is a conspiracy to poke fun at everything somehow taboo. I was never a smoker. This habit, once considered a sxy movie star, is now banned in our conversations. Smokers are pariahs contemporary.

The perfume is another objective of the ban. There are many complaints about excessive use of fragrance. What’s the big deal? I find people much more offensive foul.

Why not issue a prohibition of obscenity? That’s really the crutch of the ignorant. Those who do not have the vocabulary to a point just to be quiet.

Chris has two new replacements obscenities. One of them is, “God bless America!” The other is “dagnabbit!” what makes me feel like I’m married to Gabby Hayes. It gets a pass when the Saints are playing badly, but leave room for that. Often, our two daughters puppy does not immediately escape. All the screams and curses which is very annoying for them. Soon, they take refuge in me, playing on the computer until the football game is over.

Therefore, if the curse is not pleasant for the animals, who do not understand the meaning, then perhaps it should be outlawed. That, in my opinion, is a real service. Of course, this presents a problem for people like me who do not curse (well, not often, anyway), but who support First Amendment rights.

I think the only solution is to find a new definition for the service. Things like holidays, sun and wine do not fall into this category. The next time we are in the online store of the box, which should only be to overlook the magazines are full of self-help advice and pick up a handful of black chocolate. Now that’s the kind of “bar” can accept.

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