True Blood

July 4, 2011 by Post Team 

True BloodTrue Blood, The second episode of “True Blood” begins where last week. Do you remember how it ended last week? I mean, for each of the 10 to 1.200 characters that the audience is supposed to have an emotional (ha!) In? No? OK, here goes …

Stackhouse Jason wakes up tied to a bed in the “Hills Have Eyes” of the community entrusted to him after his V-Glass Addict girlfriend was having sex with her brother. (Side note: How can something so hot in the “Game of Thrones” repugnant to “True Blood”, incest, she’s a capricious power) It turns out that Stackhouse has been scammed by these young rednecks they eat raw meat and licked his wounds in the head, because he’s so silly. Crystal Felton and her half brother are back, and they want to spawn babies Jason werepanther and continue their total does not defected, genetically innate. But first Jason has to become himself werepanther, in a ritual that is much like turning process of the vampire: the drain (or in this case, scratching) a person until they are nearly dead, then waiting for the next full moon. I think it is missing a step that Jason has to drink (claw) her blood? So now it is all infected and gross. The man, Stackhouse, if only they were smart enough to outthink a family whose cumulative IQ amounts too less than Forrest Gump. Alas.

But that’s too long dedicated to Jason! Since last week actually ended with Sookie realizing that Eric bought her house and is now free to roam around and threatening to flirt with her as he pleases. He even built an underground bunker sleeping in a closet! (Odd, is not that you have a basement?) Eric Sookie still wants to be his, it must be because the damn fairy blood, because it is in no way due to her stellar personality.

Sookie marches to the house of King’s ex-boyfriend Bill, where he finished chewing and boning a woman in Lafayette and the group of Jesus Wicca support. After making her Sookie-face trial, which requires that a king, Bill Eric faire. Bill makes some vague comments about Eric having powerful friends, but still see what we can do. After breaking into the bill to have sex, yelled at him a favor, and then reprimanded him for not being able to do so immediately, the stems of Sookie. Class act. Incidentally, this is usually how I can convince my ex-boyfriends to do things for me.

But the mention of “powerful friends” does Bill go all the flashback-y: He’s in London in the 80, treating the worst C**kney accent (surprisingly terrible for an actor who is actually British), when faced with Nan – she of the League of vampire television pundits – who promises that someday will be able to drink human blood if she joins the growing group of progressive vampires. Apparently, Louis Pasteur created True Blood, we realize.

“Wait … Louis Pasteur was a vampire?” Asked Bill, as my head unconsciously begins to reach for the remote control.

The purpose of this device is all awkward flashback show that Nan and Bill has been in since the beginning of the series was always the plan established Bill as a fictional king, so that could end the feudal system of the vampires they are sticking to old habits and replace them with peace loving, hippies and drink blood True Bill. In another flashback, we see the stealth Nan army command to kill the queen Sophie Ann that resolving “Matrix” fight between her and Bill last season.

Well, now there is no Queen of Louisiana. Why did Bill become king? Why not dismantle this strange monarchy system (with sheriffs and judges and others) that vampires have in place, rather than establishing a dictator false? Oh, well, the best laid plans of mice and vampires …

In other news from tangential character: Hoyt and Jessica still national problems, because people want to be sxy and bite than your boyfriend Fangtasia. But the religious fanatics are still picketing the bar (“We live in a post-Russell Edington,” says one character, referring to the best scene of last season), and Hoyt gets into a fight with one of the anti-fangbangers. Jessica begins to show its teeth, but one of the guys has a smart phone and threatened to upload the video to YouTube. (Timely!) Jessica might be: “You know how many degrees I have?” subway lady!

Sam is in love with a fellow called shape-shifting moon, and has a conversation full of innuendo, while completely n*k*d (do not worry, just turn back into a horse, nothing unusual here). Despite their warmth, Sam is really the worst pick up women: If you are lying n*k*d in a field with a person and has to ask if you are trying to find her, then the game is kind of out, brother. Apparently not, though of course the moon has to do with Sam Merlotte and to convince him … Shifter reached its weekly meeting? Do not do that every week anyway? These two are for each other.

Another thing is that Luna is definitely the name of a horse, not a person, so I hope that the rotation this season is when Sam realizes that his girlfriend is actually a horse that changes shape is made pass for humans. Cut apples with her, Sam!

Arlene, still from “Rosemary’s Baby” kick, stares at her newborn son with such force that breaks a blood vessel in the eye. Then he blames the child. World’s Best Mom! Or maybe the baby is really bad, “Pet Semetary” style.

Lafayette and the group of Jesus bringing a dead bird witch to life for half a second. It’s all very “The Craft”. Friend of Bill in the group sex brings you the news because Wicca is a sleeper cell or something, and calls Eric to stop her neuromancing witches. See if you can control the dead, which can control the undead. At first I was excited and thought, “Zombies!” but then I realized they were talking about vampires. Zombies are next season.

Oh yeah, and Tara returns. Hi Tara! You seem very happy! Let’s see how long it lasts.

Another coven meeting was attended Lafayette, Tara, and Jesus is interrupted by a ccky Eric, requiring it to dissolve. The Witch of the head (and total geek) Marnie gets all the First Amendment in the ass – because everyone has, like, the right of assembly, the man – and Eric decides it’s time for a snack. Then the attacks of Tara, despite suffering from PTSD Lafayette whenever he sees Eric (remember the first season?), His desire to protect his cousin led him to take a song that makes crazy witch lady to become in a different crazy witch lady.

Sookie goes to Pam Fangtasia to demand that they make you please have Eric, except for Pam is kind enough to say no (because she is the best, and apparently the only character who constantly go through a sh*t Sookie). Our waitress makes a brief pit stop in the bathroom to rebuke Jessica kissing another man in the bathroom, because it is a day in Bon Temps, where our heroine is not your business, judging by the crap out of you.

On the way home, Sookie finds her new landlord class vampire shuffling around shirtless. What happened to his shirt, we wonder. He does not know that he has forgotten everything. Including who is Sookie, and why not just take a delicious bite your neck tale.

Unlike the last episode, this melodrama of suspense is, in fact, but has never been clear why a vampire cannot “love” as Eric Sookie did not drain at every opportunity, we suspend our disbelief and accept the idea of?? It secretly has feelings for her. But without any memories, sweet smell of Sookie makes your blood more than a tasty meatbag this vampire airheaded.

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