Tim Tebow Tebowing
January 9, 2012 by staff
Tim Tebow Tebowing, Tim Tebow is the best evidence yet of the existence of his very own Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. No question, as jocks like to say with microphones in their mugs. Most definitely.
If you don’t believe a heathen, then consider the indisputable video evidence that Tebow, quarterback of the NFL’s Denver Broncos, bested the Pittsburgh Steelers in their wild card game with an 80-yard touchdown toss on the first play of overtime to bring his passing total for the game to exactly 316 yards.
That’s 316 as in 3:16 — as in John 3:16, the passage in the Bible that saith: “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.”
Not only did His Tebowness miraculously win the game within the first blip of OT, but his Lord and Savior allowed him to do so by hitting 3:16 on the button, thereby granting eternal life in the playoffs to His cause for at least another week, when them Broncos have to pony up against the godless New England Patriots on the road.
Those inclined to dispute the obvious might of Tebow’s Savior might be tempted to point to the Steelers star safety, Troy Polamalu, he of the Samsonian locks in the Head and Shoulders ads. Polamalu, a serial Pro Bowler, could be seen making a hand movement during the wild card game very much like the Sign of the Cross, but he did it so casually and constantly that it could not possibly have amounted to a single bout of bended-knee Tebowing by the Denver QB. If Polamalu wants to win, he had best do a better job of playing to the camera and testifying after he’s done taking the ball-carrier’s head off.
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