The Bachelorette

August 1, 2011 by Post Team 

The BacheloretteThe Bachelorette, Happy Monday raised lovers! I’m a little upset that this crazy schedules. Also, a little dismayed that will recap the five hours of The Bachelorette this week (for men all accounts, the final and after the final Rose) … but fear not, my dedication to you – and ridicule the show that just I can not see – will never fade. Let a few pounds of Red Bull and get to it!

Harrison greets the adoring crowd at the Thunderdome tea light with standard hyperbole – “This season has been one of the most controversial and talked about the seasons of The Bachelorette forever” – and then goes straight to the point: Bentley – WTF? “Why not see for what Ashley really is, why not tell Ashley Bentley series was really saying what about her?” Good question Chris! I cannot wait to hear the answers … What is that? Not yet? First we have to walk Flashback / Ashley Lane landfill? Very good. [Sigh] At least we will see some never before released clips of Jeff’s mask to do chores like vacuuming, mowing the hedges, washing hands after using the bathroom. When Harrison addressed the issue of Bentley, Ashley gives the answers we’ve all heard before – I had never seen that side of him, “played” with it, I just wanted to “win”, and she is “wounded” people were so “negative” about their monumental stupidity.

Enough about the only subject people want to talk about all those boring things! Let’s see some bloopers. Mira JP can not operate a DVD player! Mickey “manhood” was crushed in a harness! The dog-fouling flashlight! Ashley has a cramp in the foot tai chi! The ridiculously phallic fruit bowl in Hong Kong! Vaseline Ashley’s bed … Wait, what’s strange about that? Vaseline on the bed of a degree – it could have some implications for R-rated Ashley defense against chapped lips, though? Not so hot.

Bachelorette such equipment only to viewers in a bad frame of mind, because Ashley mysterious segue lubricant jelly to a breakthrough in the television equivalent of a sexually transmitted disease: Bachelor Pad 2! Here are my key takeaways from the enlarged preview: 1. She did not intersect, or she punched in the face “over and over and over again” until it breaks his f**king nose. 2. If you edit clips together enough of weeping women, creating a creepy kind of melody. 3. Stagliano is still the nicest contestant in the history of Bachelor / Bachelorette. 4. Melissa? Still nuts. 5. Kasey does not quite understand the proper use of air quotes. The poor man does not seem like much fun being the target of Harrison “safeguard and protect your heart” joke either.

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