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Christensen Star Wars

March 1, 2012 by · Comments Off on Christensen Star Wars 

Christensen Star Wars, From an Australian version with an extra second of footage to playing cards and radio shows, my Star Wars collection is massive. But I’ve had enough, I can’t do it anymore, Lucas can stick his Phantom Menace up his…

Well, it’s been – what? – four or five months already, and it’s time for another bite of the Star Wars apple, this time with the cinematic re-release of the films in 3D, beginning with The Phantom Menace this month. Now, I could easily spend the next couple of thousand words sniping at the prospect of watching the Star Wars prequels with an added dimension: through the wonders of technology, Hayden Christensen’s performance finally gains some depth! See the films as the director in no way ever originally intended but hey, what the f**k, there’s an untapped commercial possibility to be exploited and the George Lucas money mountain needs topping up!

But really, what’s the point? It’s all been said before, and by better men than me. Bashing the Star Wars prequels has become a socially ordained tradition in our culture, in much the same way that giving the EDF doorstep salesman a five-minute head start before you broke out the shotgun used to be.

Nowadays, I’m not overly horrified that yet another version of the Star Wars saga is being foisted on the world, and I don’t find myself becoming exercised that Mr. Lucas will once again fail to resist the urge to tinker under the bonnet, fruitlessly searching for an empty inch of screen that hasn’t already been filled with some robotic widget that can be given away with a Happy Meal in a lucrative sponsorship tie-in.

I’m not keeping up with the Joneses anymore, I refuse. When it comes to the exhausting game of getting the very latest versions of the Star Wars films on the very latest format, I’m afraid my wad has long since been shot.

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