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Americas Next Top Model

February 29, 2012 by · Comments Off on Americas Next Top Model 

Americas Next Top Model, America’s Next Top Model has gone British! The new series that starts tonight (February 29) for its 18th season sees its first ever “British Invasion” to the show. It will feature former contestants from Britain’s Next Top Model and an all-new crop of American model hopefuls competing for the grand prize.

According to the official synopsis they will compete for a career-launching prize package: a modeling contract with LA/NY Models, a chance to be a guest correspondent on the hit newsmagazine EXTRA, a fashion spread in Vogue Italia and the cover and spread in Beauty In Vogue, the face of America’s Next Top Model perfume Dream Come True, a single to be released with CBS and a $100,000 contract with CoverGirl cosmetics.

Not only will the new series see British Models compete, but a number of British stars have also been signed up as guest judges including singers Kelly Osbourne and Estelle, Marchesa fashion designer Georgina Chapman, television host Cat Deeley, former Girls Aloud singer Nadine Coyle, fashion photographer Jez Smith and once again fashion expert Nigel Barker will sit as a regular member of the judging panel, lead by Tyra Banks.

America’s Next Top Model

November 17, 2011 by · Comments Off on America’s Next Top Model 

America’s Next Top Model, The girls have to judge themselves and model like Greek goddesses. We return to Greece, filled with stereotypical grainy promotional shots. I’m not sure why ANTM likes using tourism videos, but they stick out like a sore thumb.

Dominique was happy that she was the dark horse even though she had the top photo last week. Since her season, Dominique has evolved. She is now playing for her children. Angelea was worried that she was in the bottom so much, because she doubted herself. Lisa realized that Allison is the biggest competition, even though Lisa thought Allison looked dead in shots.

Angelea talked to Laura about being top three/two in their seasons didn’t determine their presence on the show. I think Angelea needed to realize she was technically tied for fourth. Angelea was buckling under the pressure of the show. The girls received a Tyra Mail to meet with the judges. The girls met with Miss J and explained that the girls would have a casting. The girls would judge each other as a twist. Miss J pointed out the girls had to give and take criticism.

Each of the girls had three sections: walking, portfolio, and a Q&A portion. The girls started walking and each girl had generally negative comments about each other. There were obvious critiques like Allison having very awkward walking abilities. None of them really understood that her walking was intentionally quirky. They followed with a photo evaluation where Laura was told her NeNe shot was awful. They then asked the girls who they thought wouldn’t win. Laura, Allison, and Lisa gave the diplomatic answer of no one should be eliminated. Unlike the other political girls, Dominique decided to actually say a name: Angelea. Angelea threw her arms up a bit upset, but Dominique thought she wanted to push Angelea further. Laura decided to chime in and call her guarded. Lisa called her a ticking time bomb in interviews, but in person complained about how her brand was confusing. Laura got angry and wanted Angelea to succeed. Miss J decided to talk out the issues and put her on the spotlight. Angelea got upset and started to do the hand-clap emphasizing of words. She stormed off.

After the commercial break, Angelea didn’t get the supportive love of the contestants. Dominique didn’t think she was ready to be a Top Model yet. Miss J talked to Angelea and calmed her down. She returned to the competition and Miss J continued to ask who thought should win, Angelea didn’t think anyone would win. Miss J then told the girls to grade each other. Angelea was upset, but mostly with Laura, Lisa, and Dominique. Miss J announced the overall weakest was Allison; Angelea was shocked because of the drama she expected to be in the bottom. Laura was announced as the strongest. Miss J announced that all the girls would have a VIP party to de-stress.

Twylem Pyper came to pick up the girls on a yacht and the girls talked to Twylem about how hard the challenges were. The girls followed their Yacht ride with open swimming time. Dominique, Angelea, and Laura were a bit nervous about getting into the water. Laura was scared of the water after her season with the underwater photo shoot. It made her even more paranoid than normal. The girls went to party and Twyla was drinking like crazy. She attempted to get Allison to drink and Allison threw it over her shoulder. What a waste of alcohol. Lisa, after going to Celebrity Rehab, knew she shouldn’t drink. Angelea was still unsure about herself blocking all her motivation.

The girls got a Tyra Mail and it was a photo of an ancient Greek painting. The girls arrive at the beautiful photo shoot and Jay told the girls that they would be using fashion accessories that tie in with classic Greek Olympics. The photographer this week was judge Nigel Barker and the girls were even more nervous about impressing their judge. One aspect Nigel was looking for was athleticism. The girls went to hair and makeup. Lisa was given a mohawk. Dominique was first and given the javelin and was warned not to throw it into the poor crew. In a funny moment, Dominique pronounced her item as a “Javin.” Dominique was told to be more graceful in her shots. Nigel thought that her character was a question. Allison was given a purse to be a discus; she was worried about overanalyzing in her head. Nigel told her to be like the goddess of wind. He stopped her for looking like she was hailing a cab. She was told to slow down and she improved.

America’s Next Top Model

November 4, 2011 by · Comments Off on America’s Next Top Model 

America’s Next Top Model, Occasionally, Next Top Model America is as batshit, I have very little to say about it. What I can add to an episode in which contestants were forced to make “viral” videos? (I put “viral” in quotes because actually doing viral videos. In this connection, Tyra Banks does not know what “viral” refers to.) Presumption of it was absurd, and I love how Tyra presented as a reasonable challenge and not something crazy cooked while smoking the best “ledom boat.”

“How can you have your celebrity to a higher level that goes viral?” Asked Jay Manuel. I’m pretty sure that was rhetorical, but the sex tape, obviously. Then namechecked as viral sensations like Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber, suggesting that the models might one day join their ranks. And yes, I believe that each and every one of these ladies could eventually become as forgettable as Rebecca Black or even the guy who sang “Chocolate Rain”. However, before becoming YouTube stars, contestants were asked to co-write and record their own songs.

Allison spent much time going crazy over her inability to sing, which is a completely legitimate concern. I am puzzled by the assumption that all models would be able to sing, but I guess in an era of Auto-tune, anyone can sound halfway not terrible. I’m really surprised more than the contestants had to write their own songs, not even Rebecca Black was responsible for that challenge. Allison continued to insist on the song and ended up writing a touching ode to her recently deceased father. Because, well, nothing says viral and a dead father.

When participants arrived at the studio to record their songs, they were informed they would have to incorporate the phrase “ledom pot” which is “top model” backwards. I have no explanation for this, except, perhaps, that Tyra is a gnikcuf citanul. I also loved when Tom CBS Records “Polka reminded models,” You have to make it fun … It’s all about fun. “Allison Court, which had to incorporate a funky hook in her song. Rest in peace, Dad. Ledom were always a pot in my heart.

Allison somehow managed to make it work. (She is, literally, a foreigner, is the only explanation I can come up with.) Lisa, who won the challenge of writing songs, killed it, and most models of other jobs can be repaired. I say “useful”, as none of these women are professionals, and it showed. While I admired her enthusiasm, I was eager for the worst of the bunch (including my girlcrush Laura) for Auto-tuning in comfortable mediocrity. And yes, I thought it was cute when Alexandria said: “I feel like it could be an artist.” But in that class pretty deceived, vaguely annoying way. We do not do shit.

Music videos rose absurd lipsynch chorus (yes, I know) were provided by Tyra and Internet sensation Keenan Cahill. I’ll be nice to Keenan, it is a boy of 16 years of age, but is famous for lipsynching and not even very good at it. (See, I was fine. I could easily have said that talent is a terrible mess.) Tyra and Keenan did not ruin all the videos, if only because most of them were hopelessly horrible to begin with, but a frustrating distraction. I sympathize, though: Tyra and Keenan definitely needs the exposure.

I realize I have not said much about the songs, but most were too generic to merit discussion. Almost all participants chose to write about the competition, the challenges they have faced and how they finally going to be victorious in other words, the same shit every week peak, but this time set to pop rhythms of shit. Shout outs to Laura by her charm inane “Sweet Southern Girl” and Lisa for reliable fun “I Be Like Whoa.” No, Lisa, I like whoa. His song was something nice.

In the end, flat video of Alexandria is not enough. Angelee announced this chain of events when he said: “There is a line in the song that says,” Go, go, go. “No, no, no.” And while I did not think the song of Alexandria was worse than Shannon “World Go Round” or Dominique “Ya Booty Tooch,” I was happy to see him go. For a competitor whose main draw was the harassing conduct, Alexandria spent too much of this cycle flying under the radar. Sorry girl, but if you want to be a household name, you can not be afraid to make their voices heard. Each pot ledom know.

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