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American Idol Makeover

March 23, 2012 by · Comments Off on American Idol Makeover 

American Idol Makeover, How much is a haircut worth? What difference might Tommy Hilfiger make to your life? Is gray really, well, gray? These have been the crucial questions for this week’s cultural barometer known as “American Idol.”

Last night’s results show offered the first inklings as to whether a physical makeover could bring about a popularity surge. For this had been the first week that Tommy Hilfiger had tried to change each contestant’s look.

But first we had the group number. The less sung, the better.

Ryan Seacrest managed to dim the lights fairly quickly. There was the additional promise for the remaining contestants that, if they survived, they would move into a wonderful mansion.

“All mansions are cool,” teased Seacrest.

The solid and sometimes somber words of Jimmy Iovine were less of a tease. His verdict of the previous night’s performances was, as usual, pithy and pungent.

“That was by far her worst night of the competition,” said Iovine of Hollie Cavanagh. Of Skylar Laine: “She’s going to have to get more creative to win this thing.” Oddly, he said of Elise Testone: “I got goosies.” They were all safe.

Less safe was the idea of having Lana Del Rey perform. She’d had a troubled debut on “Saturday Night Live.” Yet here she was all lips, but no slips. Weird, very slightly wonderful and therefore very slightly not “American Idol.”

There was a temporary interlude when everyone – including Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry – sang “Happy Birthday” to Steven Tyler. I think it was his 75th. Or, perhaps, 12th. Then it was back to the stimulating Iovine.

“This was not his best night and I think it’s really gonna hurt him,” said Iovine of Deandre Brackensick. Iovine was upset with Brackensick’s frolicking the previous night, which symbolized his complete lack of understanding of Billy Joel’s “Only the Good Die Young.” Frolicking will get you a rollicking.

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