Top

50 Shades Of Grey Book

March 13, 2012 by · Comments Off on 50 Shades Of Grey Book 

50 Shades Of Grey Book, The runaway bestseller 50 Shades of Grey written by an Australian woman named E.L. James, clearly has captured the hearts and hormones of women across America — the question is why? Is it possible that so many women dream of becoming the submissive partner of a dominant male partner which, after all, is the central plot of the book?

The novel’s protagonist, Christian Grey, has a dungeon with all the extras and asks his partner to sign a non-disclosure agreement that spells out on the written page that she will do what he tells her, no questions asked. He tells Anastasia — who doesn’t know what to make of the situation except that she really, really likes it — straight out that he’ll never ever spend the night with her — that basically, he’s all about the sex, NOT the cuddling.

Having been married nearly 30 years, I’m no expert on the current state of a dating woman’s psyche so I turned to a few people who have been “out there” for an explanation. Nearly everyone, including women, told me that yes, domination is a highly sought after male trait, though maybe not to the extent practiced by Christian Grey. Spanking, hair pulling and requests to be bitten are all the rage.

It’s a subject that a lot of people are not comfortable with but one friend — let’s call him “Damian” — said he’d talk about it if I’d keep his identity a secret. Done.

Damian listened patiently while I explained 50 Shades of Grey and said he wasn’t surprised in the least by the book’s popularity with the fairer sex. “Look,” he said, “men have had all the power throughout history and the sexual dynamic between men and women is not unlike rape except that it’s consensual — women like to be taken and told what to do in the bedroom.”

Damian compared the relations to men and women to what goes on between gays during sex. “When gays become intimate, they have to figure out who is the top and who is the bottom and that’s true of men and women too,” he said.

Many people agree (read this article in The Atlantic called “All The Single Ladies”) that the male-female dynamic these days is skewed. A lot of women have seized powerful roles in the job market, more women than men attend college, and more than ever men are becoming “feminized” (a word I heard a lot) by assuming traditional female tasks in the home. One woman told me that she felt sorry for all the men pushing strollers because “they’re so whipped.”

“Men have become more and more soft and are behaving less like men,” Damian said. “I have tons of women who complain to me that men want to share pleasure instead of take pleasure — I don’t share pleasure, I take it. I would never ask a woman what turns her on in bed.”

Bottom