Rush Limbaugh Sl*t

March 2, 2012 by staff 

Rush Limbaugh Sl*t, The Republican party has a ‘Suitable Boy’ kind of problem: In love with one guy but being forced to settle for the other. “I feel like the bride in an arranged marriage I can’t get out of,” wails one loyal voter in despair at the prospect of a Mitt Romney nomination. Too-dull-to-lose Mitt just doesn’t get that conservative blood thumping quite like, say, a Rick Santorum with his steamy speeches about Satan.

Sure, the liberal media thinks he’s a little craaazy, but Santorum is indeed – as that rightwing Yoda Rush Limbaugh would tell you – “the last real conservative still standing.” But sadly, the man who has won the Republican heart – or rather base – is having a tough time wooing the rest of America. As naysayers point out, all that ‘barefoot and pregnant’ talk opposing contraception and working women is not going to win him the ring come November. Nor will frothing at the mouth about satanic liberal universities, Hitler-like Democrats, or the secret plan to execute Christians:

They are taking faith and crushing it. Why? When you marginalize faith in America, when you remove the pillar of God-given rights then what’s left is the French Revolution. What’s left is a government that gives you rights. What’s left are no unalienable rights. What’s left is a government that will tell you who you are, what you’ll do and when you’ll do it. What’s left in France became the the guillotine.

Beelzebub and guillotines. How did it come to this sad pass?

Sure, the liberal media thinks he’s a little craaazy, but Santorum is, indeed, “the last real conservative still standing.” Reuters
Since the rise of Ronald Reagan, and America’s famous right turn, loving the unelectable has been a Democratic pastime. The base falls in love with some wild-eyed liberal, but the party settles for a more “moderate” guy who will be more palatable to the parents, i.e. the rest of America. Republicans, on the other hand, were glad to hitch their fortunes to any guy who checked all the right boxes: anti-abortion, anti-gay; tax cuts; law and order; foreign policy hawk. Bob Dole was fine as was George Bush Sr. and his son. As long they were meat-and-potatoes Republicans no one expected their guy to wear his ideology on his sleeve. Hence, the triumph of the “kinder and gentler” conservatism, best served with an affable ‘gee shucks!’ smile. The ideologue-in-sheep’s clothing GOP strategy was first perfected by Reagan and imitated by countless others – most successfully Dubya. And it’s worked pretty well for the most part.

So what went wrong this time around? Answer: The Tea Party. The combination of Obama’s election and the never-ending recession has unleashed a fire and brimstone breathing genie. Gentle conservatism no longer appeases a base baying for blood. They want a “conservative with conviction” who wears his hard-core ideology on his sleeve. Hence, the rising fortunes of a Santorum who in previous elections would have been the typical hard right candidate who would gain attention but never sufficient traction.

In 2012, however, he is the bona fide rival who will never win – a spoiler who will weaken Romney by a) making him look like RINO (Republican In Name Only); and b) pushing him to take ever more extremist positions.

The ‘Suitable Boy’ conundrum is, therefore, a symptom of a party whose base is increasingly out of step with the mainstream. Democrats faced this problem in the past because they had to win power in a society that had moved to the right after the Reagan realignment. “The ruling ideas of our time are conservative, just as in the ’60s, when politics was marching in the liberal direction… So the context, the zeitgeist, if you want to put it so pretentiously, is conservative, just as the zeitgeist in the 1960?s was liberal,” says Adrian Wooldridge, co-author of The Right Nation: Conservative Power in America. Therefore, any candidate who made the true-blue liberals happy was bound to be unelectable in a national election.

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