Roseanne President

August 6, 2011 by Post Team 

Roseanne PresidentRoseanne President, Last night on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Roseanne Barr was sitting in the guest chair and began poetic about green living, what it feels like to be a nut farmer, and, as she is a reform of a hole. I was warming the abrasive comedian when he dropped a bomb, and the red, white and blue confetti to the crowd: Roseanne Barr is running for President of the United States of America … and the prime minister of Israel, too. (It’s a twofer, she says.)

We all know it’s crazy, but I have to say, the platform of her party in green tea does not sound so crazy. In fact, it kind of sense.

Could this funny woman who once sacrificed the National Anthem will be the next leader we have been looking patriotic? Roseanne says Jay is quite serious about running because a) he wants to be part of the discussions, and b) you want to represent taxpayers. In fact, she says that taxpayers will be their VP running mates! So far, I’m down. I look good in the Air Force One

Here are the reasons why I think it would be a good president:

His sense of humor. 2012 Roseanne shirts have slogans like “It’s time we had a president with some nuts” and “Finally a president who can not get the maid pregnant.” Ha!
Congress will ask the tough questions like “Where the hell did our money?”
Going to legalize marijuana. Apparently she needs to calm down after the stress of driving in Los Angeles. Oh, and she suggests that it would end all wars of the drug, and then we could invade Mexico and take their oil. Hmm.
Your Party of the United States green tea soothing and delicious sounds. Roseanne had to start her own party and that Republicans and Democrats, “both suck and both are a group of criminals.” Hear, hear.
I had to get rid of taxes, and forgive all student loans and all debts. Hmm. I’m down with student loan forgiveness, but if there are no taxes, that mean no taxpayer, which means it, cannot be Vice Prez … not fresh, Roseanne. You have my hopes!
She has nothing to hide. “I have no skeletons left, they are all out there, everyone knows everything about me.” There are no illegitimate children? No internal scandals? No alcohol? Now that would certainly be a welcome change for a politician.
Do not have money? Good news, Roseanne wants to get rid of it completely. “I’m getting rid of money. There will be no more money or more money schemes. Everything will be based on barter.” In the country he leads, the currency will be vegetables and nuts because, as she deftly points out: “You can not eat money.”
I have a peach and a banana in my fridge, a can of almonds in my closet, and a deficit of 34 and in the bank. That said … Roseanne for President!

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