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Pippa Middleton New Boyfriend

November 19, 2011 by staff 

Pippa Middleton New Boyfriend, It was a historic week for the female form. Debenhams revealed that their so-called Pippa Pants – Invisible Shaping Bum Boosters, designed to do for buttocks what the Wonderbra did for breasts – are outselling non-padded undies by 148 per cent. I ask you, who could have foreseen the day when British womanhood, so long in anguish over the size of her backside, would storm the lingerie department and cry: “Please make my bum look bigger in this”?

What a cruel irony that it turned out to be a bad week for Pippa Middleton, whose rear inspired those stellar undies after making an acclaimed appearance at Westminster Abbey. Poor Pippa. The world’s most delectable bridesmaid was dumped by her boyfriend of a year and a half, former England cricketer Alex Loudon. Unaware of this personal tragedy, a Debenhams spokesman commented brightly: “Widely publicised photographs of Pippa’s shapely behind have made ‘bum envy’ a part of everyday conversation for women all over the UK.”

Not in certain circles it isn’t. Not, I am guessing, at the palatial family home of Alex Loudon, who was a friend of Prince William at Eton. I doubt that Alex’s parents – James, a former high sheriff of Kent, and wife Jane – are to be found at the breakfast table discussing this interesting phenomenon over the thickly cut Seville. “I say, darling, I hear bum envy is all the rage.”

A friend of Pippa caused outrage when she told a reporter that Alex’s parents came from “very good families” and did not consider the younger Middleton girl to be “wife material”. “Pippa is very sweet,” said the friend, “but she is socially ambitious – all her friends are so ‘trophy posh’ it’s ridiculous. The Loudons didn’t honestly see Alex and Pippa’s relationship as a long-term thing.”

In Britain, class never really goes away. Like an injured octopus, it just grows another tentacle. The roaring success of Downton Abbey proves we are as obsessed as ever. To you and me, Pippa “The Bottom” Middleton appears to be pretty much at the summit of what they used to call society. Yet, mysteriously, the sister of our future queen may still not be considered good enough for the Loudons. Apparently, the family bought their Georgian pile in 1935, which sounds pretty grand, but in the eyes of Debrett’s, I imagine, that makes them just slightly older arrivistes than Michael and Carole Middleton, former airline personnel who built a fortune selling party favours. “Nouveau riche is better than no riche,” snapped Imelda Marcos. Not in England, honey.

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