Lisa Left Eye Lopes Burned Down Her Ex-boyfriend’s House

March 13, 2012 by staff 

Lisa Left Eye Lopes Burned Down Her Ex-boyfriend’s House, If you weren’t a TLC fan in the 90s, you were either asleep for a decade or not born yet, and for both we’re willing to forgive you (and we hope you’re well-rested or enjoying your youth, respectively). Needless to say, we were massive TLC creeps and still are, so we’re pretty excited that our network, in collaboration with surviving band members, Chilli and T-Boz, have announced they’ll be making a scripted TLC bio-pic that will air on VH1. Obviously, we’re absolutely thrilled at the news, and have already started speculating as to what events in the history of TLC that this highly anticipated movie will cover. For now, though, we’re going to play casting director and make some suggestions as to who should play the some of the CraziestSexiestCoolest singers in music history…

Rozonda “Chilli” Thomas was the quiet one, as far as quiet goes when you’re part of TLC. Solange is much the same, the quiet sister, or as quiet as a sister can be when she’s a Knowles. Not to be confused with shy, Chilli has this cool nonchalance that made her slightly enigmatic with this completely intriguing, subtle sex appeal. And she still had attitude, buckets of it — but she gave you this sense that she wasn’t giving you everything, although what she was giving was so beguiling you were always hankering for more. Enter Solange, whose soft harmonies we’d love to hear accompanying T-Boz’s gravelly voice. Both women give the impression that there’s so much more to them than meets the eye…

The cheeky one, we remember the late Lisa “Left Eye” Lopez for her mischievous grin and those huge feline eyes. She had this gorgeous irreverence that made you think of her as the youngest sister, the one that’s always getting herself into trouble (accidentally burning down her boyfriend’s house and whatnot). That’s why we think ex-America’s Top Model contestant turned actress Yaya DaCosta should play her — it’s all in the eyes. Moreover, during her stint on Top Model, Yaya showed an anti-authoritarianism that we see refelecting in Left Eye’s notorious rapscallion ways. Both Yaya and Left Eye also happen to be blessed with the kind of endearingly heart melting smile that washes away all their misadventure.

Tionne “T-Boz” Watkins was the boss lady, the main girl, mamma duck, and for want of a better word, she was fierce as hell. Leading TLC as front woman, T-Boz was the self assured one, a little bit bad ass with a definite air that raised one eyebrow and said “don’t mess with me or my girls.” We think the equally assertive Tika Sumpter should play T-Boz, as both women are aggressively sxy and wonderfully self-possessed. We don’t know what kind of a vocalist Tika is, but as far as personality goes, we think she’d make the perfect matriarch for TLC.

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