Harry Gila Bend Fornicating

November 10, 2011 by staff 

Harry Gila Bend Fornicating, The Mayor of Gila Bend, Arizona has offered Prince Harry a pizza supper and a “beer summit” to lay to rest claims that he warned the third in line to the throne off fornicating with the local ladies.

However, the proposed booze-up is bound to be interpreted as a cunning ruse designed to render the Pl**yboy prince incapable of having his royal way with the flower of Gila Bend’s maidenry.

Harry is completing a weapons course near Gila Bend, bringing the small Arizona town a rare blast of the international spotlight.

Mayor Ron Henry earlier this week reportedly warned Harry to keep his monarchical mitts off Gila Bend’s womenfolk, telling the Daily Mail “some of the dads won’t take too kindly to a prince fornicating the night away and drinking into the small hours.”

However, according to the Daily Beast/Newsweek, the reports were a complete “fabrication” with the Mail’s man on the spot being the one who brought up fornication.

Now Henry, and his staff, have gone on the diplomatic offensive.

The town’s website extends a “warm welcome” to Prince Harry, and explains, somewhat puzzlingly, that the “comments written by the Daily Mail were not only taken out of context but also, total fabrications”.

“We have tremendous respect and adoration for Prince Harry and the Royal Family,” it adds. “We are excited, proud and honored to have him in our community, and we would like extend every courtesy to make his stay as comfortable as possible.”

The proclamation adds that “Mayor Henry light-heartedly stated that he would be happy to treat the Prince to another dinner at Little Italy, and host a ‘beer summit’ to welcome him to the Gila Bend community”.

However, should Henry think a couple of gallons of Bud will be enough to suppress the Prince’s royal libido, he clearly hasn’t been reading, well, the Daily Mail anyway.

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