January 1, 2012 by staff
Hangover Remedies, It’s become tradition at ThirdCoast to put together some advice and step-by-step processes to avoid overdoing it this NYE — or if nothing else, to aid in a speedy recovery for those of us prone to indulgence.
As a general note, we here at TCD are by no means encouraging drinking to excess this holiday. Though alcohol is known to have some medicinal properties, binge drinking is obviously bad for one’s health and can lead to poor decisions.We want everyone to have a safe and happy new year, so remember: be responsible. Don’t drink and drive – taxi cabs will be out in droves and Miller Brewing Company is offering free bus rides all night long.
Be safe, be happy, be healthy!
For the morning after, a few tips from our lovely staff and contributors:
Carly Rubach’s natural liver cleanse (yep, we said it)
After a night of good or bad times, I usually dive right into brunch and a bloody. This year, I’m going to take a cue from Dr. Oz and try some good old Milk Thistle Liver Cleanse before I go out. Apparently this magical stuff helps your liver cast off toxins, and that sounds like a nice treat for your body. Have you tried it? It also works the morning after, and can be got near you at Outpost Natural Foods or GNC. And if Walgreens is your option, you’ll find ReNew Life CleanseSmart, which has lots of great detoxifiers. But be careful! The label warns that CleanseSmart is for “Experienced Cleansers” only!
Dan Shafer’s “thirsty dude” solution
As late comedian Mitch Hedberg joked years ago, you don’t have to be sweating and holding a basketball to enjoy a Gatorade, you can just be a thirsty dude. (Gatorade forgets about this demographic!) And in my experience, there is no drink more helpful to wane the dehydrating effects of a New Year’s Eve well spent than the electrolyte-loaded re-hydrating glory of Gatorade. Make sure to eat some eggs (or something with protein) to offset the sugar if and when you’re stomach is ready. Flavor of choice? Blue. Not “Cool Blue,” the other blue (yes, it matters). You won’t regret it.
Judith Ann Moriarty’s “punishing” morning
Once I’m outta bed, I break one raw egg and pour it on my head. Thirty minutes on my Schwinn exercycle, an hour in the shower, towel with sandpaper, and I’m good to go. Punishment makes my hangover go away.
Curt Yorkey’s raw advice
Most people know when they will be tying one on, so your hangover remedy needs to be thought out in advance and prepared the night before. Might be too late for that now, but save this one for next time – you won’t regret it. Before going to sleep, eat a raw beef and onion sandwich on rye bread (an actual sandwich, not a ccktail rye!). Follow that with four aspirin and 16 ounces of cranberry juice. Upon waking up, make yourself a very spicy Bloody Mary, and drink lots of water. Pure magic, tah-dah!
Elisabeth Albeck’s 5-hour cure
8 a.m.: Chug two glasses of water (the second should be taken with lemon-lime EmergenC and/or ibuprofen)
8:10: Brush teeth (at least you won’t taste your impropriety, even if you still feel it)
8-11 a.m.: Second sleep, with groggy snuggling. Humans or cats are welcome partners.
11 a.m.: Shower. At least you won’t smell your worst, even if you feel it. And get some of that glitter out of your hair — you’ll have to go back to work in a few days. Note: most cats won’t like to do this with you.
11:30 a.m.: Head to the nearest café for a three-shot latte. Take a walk around the neighborhood to get the blood flowing. Wear blue-blocker shades and shed a trail of last night’s glitter still clinging to your coat.
12:00 p.m.: Brunch! Po-ta-toes. Rye toast. More coffee. Convene for buzzed conversation. Discuss resolutions and/or what actually happened last night. Combine forces with brunching partners to complete a crossword puzzle so as to hone mental acuity and counteract the squandering of many brain cells.
1:00 p.m.: Sweat out some toxins. Shovel snow; go to the gym; hit up yard sales and haul away a Wurtlizer electric organ (if you have friends with you) or a side table (if you’re solo); play air guitar and dance around your house to 90?s music (sha -la-la-la-la) in mismatched socks and flannel; vigorously clean your entire kitchen including the fridge; do other stuff that makes you sweat. Humans and cats still welcome.
Brian Jacobson’s quick pickle fix
Pickle Juice. If you must, mix with equal parts Bushnell. Then get some B-vitamins, hydrate and sleep.
Fun, festive and non-alcoholic
Who needs booze to have a good time? Whether you’re the designated driver or simply not drinking, that doesn’t mean you have sip on boring old soda pop all night. Try one of these non-alcoholic “mocktails” to make your night a bit more festive.
Not so Dark & Stormy
¼ cup lime juice
½ tsp blackstrap molasses
1 cup ginger beer
Fill a short, wide glass with ice, then add lime juice and molasses. Fill with ginger beer and mix well (molasses is thick, especially when cold). Garnish with a lime wedge and enjoy!
Apricot Mint Julep (makes 5)
10 ripe apricots
5 tsp lime juice
2 tsp sugar
Peel pit and slice apricots, then puree in a blender with lime juice, sugar and one mint leaf. Add 2 ice cubes and blend until smooth. Pour into a rocks glass and garnish with one mint leaf.
Fizzy Honey Lemonade
2 cups soda water
½ cup lemon juice
2 tbsp honey
Place all ingredients in blender, and mix on medium speed until well blended. Pour into a collins glass and serve.
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