Fred Thompson Trophy Wife Favorite Possession

February 4, 2012 by staff 

Fred Thompson Trophy Wife Favorite Possession, Newt Gingrich behaves as if his deceit and faithlessness were part of some clever disguise that camouflages his dazzling virtue. He has pulled the wool over the eyes of religious zealots, many of whom may actually prefer Rick Santorum’s brand of squeaky-clean homophobia but see in Newt a more bloodthirsty candidate. The GOP’s fundie base have convinced themselves that Gingrich is a political pit bull capable of ripping out Obama’s throat.

Newt’s defiant response when confronted with his many marital infidelities has drawn the admiration of similar-minded hypocrites. Look! Two ancient Hollywood icons are shuffling into the media circus, blond trophy wives at their sides …

Creaky action figure and religious right loon Chuck Norris issued this statement: “Newt has the heart of a conservative reformer. We believe Newt’s experience, leadership, knowledge, wisdom, faith and even humility to learn from his failures (personal and public) can return America to her glory days. And he is the best man left on the battlefield who is able to outwit, outplay and outlast Obama and his campaign machine.”

Law and Order alum and 2008 presidential primary hopeful Fred Thompson added his croak to the Republican swampland: “I have come to the growing realization that Newt Gingrich is the guy who can articulate what America is all about.” (If waging war on poor people, demonizing LGBT citizens, insulting black and Latino voters, being relieved of his position as House Speaker over ethics violations, and working for Freddie Mac lobbyists is what “America is all about,” our beloved nation is indeed in sorry shape.)

Which brings us to the social conservatives’ “most sacred institution” – heterosexual marriage. Like Gingrich, Norris and Thompson are not opposed to dumping inconvenient (read: aging) spouses for much younger females. In 1988, the Walker, Texas Ranger star abandoned his first wife of three decades for a former model more than 20 years his junior. In 2007, Fred Thompson was asked by the Associated Press to name his favorite possession. Fred replied, “Trophy wife.”

Chuck Norris is 72-years-old, Fred Thompson is 70, and Newt is 69. The three of them must keep stocks soaring for the pharmaceutical giant Pfizer, which markets Viagra. Predictably, the wizened trio of oft-divorced horndogs are vehemently opposed to any legal recognition for committed same

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