Chris Jericho Return

January 3, 2012 by staff 

Chris Jericho ReturnChris Jericho Return, “Come my people and shut thy doors about thee. For powers shall come to punish the meek for their inequities. For on the second day of 2012 a familiar force shall arrive to claim what is his. And it will be the end of the world as you know it.” “It begins 2012?. Six weeks ago this cryptic video appeared on YouTube while it’s link faded in and out of a “Now Trending” Twitter box on Monday Night Raw. Five more cryptic videos would air on both YouTube and on television following this revolutionary Social Media concept. The second day of 2012 has finally arrived and the man behind the cryptic videos will appear! This is easily one of the most anticipated Raw’s in recent history.

WWE Monday Night Raw Results 1/2/12

The show begins with John Cena. He comes out of the entrance way and shouts “This is Jerry Lawler country.” Raw is live in the hometown of Jerry “The King” Lawler Memphis, Tennessee. Cena talks about his New Year’s Resolutions. The first is to wear less underwear. The women in the crowd cheer. The second is to never let his dad on WWE TV again following the “Cena This Is Your Life” segment weeks back. The third is to beat The Rock at Wrestlemania. Cena says he will remain who he is and that his convictions will hold true. This is either him telling the people that he will not turn heel or is building his heel turn even more. I said weeks back that it makes no sense for him to turn heel, and I still believe that. He can already wrestle faces and heels because half the people cheer him and half the people boo him. He is already a heel towards those he needs to be a heel towards. If Cena turns his back on the fans it goes against everything he’s ever stood for from “hustle, loyalty, respect” to “rise above hate.” Cena says he will enjoy any emotional response that he gets from the crowd. Just then the lights go out, Kane’s music hits, and we hear his voice. He is not seen, just heard. The arena stays red during his promo. Kane says Cena will embrace the hate tonight. Then the ring pyro explodes.

The video fades out and we see the little boy and the little girl from the cryptic videos. The little boy is shaking his head and the little girl is smiling. We see a full screen that says “The End Begins Tonight.”

World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes- Nice opening match! They hype the Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show match and the Cody Rhodes vs. Booker T match on Smackdown this Friday. Cody Rhodes takes early control with punches. Bryan counters in the corner and hits vicious kicks. He charges Rhodes but gets a boot to the face. Rhodes targets the arm of Bryan and slams it into the mat multiple times. To me it looks as if Cody Rhodes wants to have a nice psychological and technical match with Bryan so he uses the oldest of psychologies…working the arm. It’s either that or have Bryan carry him the entire match. He can’t compete with Bryan’s skills so I’m fine with the strategy. He really has no true reason to work the arm because he has no arm finishers or submissions in his arsenal. Bryan eventually counters the arm holds and tosses Rhodes to the outside. He hits a running knee smash off the apron. He misses off the top rope and is tossed into the turnbuckle face first. Rhodes uses the Beautiful Disaster springboard kick to the face. He then uses a front suplex on Bryan. Rhodes goes for a second front suplex but Bryan counters it into a small package for the win. Bryan celebrates after the match and immediately runs over to Michael Cole to rub it in his face again. I love Daniel Bryan’s smart ass attitude lately. It’s hilarious. He’s been taunting the Big Show on Smackdown and taunting Michael Cole after every match. Daniel Bryan stands at the end of the ramp and yells “yes yes yes” very sarcastically. Love it.

In the back John Laurinaitis is talking with The Miz. He tells Miz that what R-Truth did last week was inappropriate and that he will take action. The Miz gets angry that that’s the only thing Laurinaitis is going to do. Laurinaitis shows him the video of him attacking R-Truth weeks ago on Raw. He asks Miz if that video rings a bell. Miz says “no.” Again pretty funny. The Miz says he will be a sitting duck out there. Laurinaitis says “that’s better than being a lame duck” and smiles. AGAIN pretty funny. These stupid jokes are great tonight. But here comes the best one yet….The Miz walks out of the office and through the back angry. R-Truth appears from around the corner, walks up to the camera, waves his arms, and quacks like a duck! I’m going to love R-Truth as a face. The people are really going to get behind his crazy man gimmick. “The End Begins Tonight” and Daniel Bryan are officially trending world wide on Twitter.

In preparation of the next Pay Per View Royal Rumble, we see a highlight video from 1988 where Hacksaw Jim Duggan won the inaugural event. I personally love the Royal Rumble and consider it my specialty in wrestling trivia. Early prediction to win it this year? Sheamus.

Wade Barrett makes his way down to the ring. The highlights from Barrett’s match with Randy Orton from Smackdown are shown. Orton was thrown down the steps in a storyline to write off a real life injury that he is suffering from. Early indications were that Orton would miss six months, but now it’s looking like it could be less. I don’t want Orton to miss Wrestlemania. Barrett talks about how he didn’t want to throw Orton down the stairs, but it was either Orton or himself that would have been. Barrett says he will win the Royal Rumble. Santino’s music hits and he runs around the ring with his cobra glove. Santino asks him who lasted longer in the Rumble last year, Barrett or Santino? He says eeenntt time’s up. It was me stupido. Santino’s act is getting a little stale for me. And I hate to say that because I like him.

Wade Barreet vs. Santino Marella- Marella boxes away at the gut of Barrett mocking his bare knuckle fighting background. Barrett punches back, but Santino does a split. Barrett big boots his face while he is down in the split. From there he tosses Santino in the corner and pounds away at him. Santino counters one punch and goes for the Cobra. Barrett hits a back kick to the jaw to counter it. He picks Santino up and hits The Winds of Change for the win.

The Miz is in the back with The Bella Twins. The Bella’s are arguing with each other as usual. The Miz is looking around and asks them if they’ve seen R-Truth. They said no, but they saw Little Jimmy. They laugh. Is that an inappropriate joke? Miz says he is glad Alberto Del Rio got hurt. Miz walks away. R-Truth walks up to the camera again and whispers shhhhh. I liked the duck thing, but I like the multiple segments even more. What a great idea. It’s like Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd. Highly entertaining. The most entertaining show on television by far. Santino and Wade Barrett are officially trending on Twitter.

Sheamus vs. The Miz- Miz walks down the ramp looking around and being paranoid. Miz jumps in the ring and attacks Sheamus with a spear. He attempts to tie Sheamus up, but the great white gets out. Miz tries to flee the ring, but Sheamus catches him on the apron, ties his arms up, and pounds his chest from the inside of the ring. The Miz gets free and jumps over the barricade. The match never officially started and it’s now over. R-Truth’s voice is heard. He is in the crowd. He say’s guess who I ran into? Little Jimmy. Little Jimmy doesn’t like you. Little Jimmy says you need to get got. Hilarious. Loving R-Truth. The Miz runs away from R-Truth and hops back over the barricade only to be hit with a Brogue Kick by Sheamus. R-Truth hops the barricade, grabs a bottle of water, and smashes it across The Miz’s head. R-Truth says “this weakly Miz beat down is brought to you by Little Jimmy, where you will get got.” He asks Little Jimmy what he thinks about that and a kid says “happy New Year’s Miz.” As I said before, the fans are going to love R-Truth as a face. His crazy man gimmick might be the funniest gimmick I’ve ever seen in professional wrestling. I can see R-Truth as a face actually becoming a world champion in the future. And just like that R-Truth is trending world wide on Twitter. Also trending on Twitter, Sheamus, The Miz, and Little Jimmy. People on Twitter are calling him The Phantom of the Opera, a zombie from the Thriller video, the least scary stalker ever, and want to buy official R-Truth water bottles.

In the back Josh Mathews interviews Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler is doing a head stand. He says he already pinned the WWE Champion last week and will win the championship tonight. He continues on with one of his fast talking promos that I don’t think I’ve seen yet on Raw. He mostly only cuts them on Zack Ryder’s YouTube show Z! True Long Island Story. Ziggler walks off and say’s “later.” I really like the “later mark” line he uses on the web show. I guess WWE won’t allow him to say “later mark” because a wrestling “mark” is an inside term for a wrestling fan who cheers for the status quo. I’m surprised they even let him put #heel on his tights seeing how “heel” is also an insider term. Anyways, Dolph Ziggler may have the best mic skills in the entire company (minus CM Punk.) He has improved 1 million percent in the last year and has arrived as a true superstar. He is a modern day Mr. Perfect.

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