American Idol Texas

January 27, 2012 by staff 

American Idol Texas, Isn’t everything in Texas supposed to be bigger? Don’t all you down there wear big hats and big shoes and drive big cars and have big kids (not like “big” big, just big) and eat big food and have big cats and stuff? I once ordered a tourism catalog from the Texas tourism board and it took three UPS to carry it up to my apartment. Everything’s big! So how come last night’s Houston/Galveston episode of American Idol felt so small? I blame Randy and Steven.

Let’s take a moment here to appreciate Jennifer Lopez. Yes! Years ago, Ms. Lopez showed such promise, didn’t she? Doing sensitive, easy, lovable work in Selena, appearing as a kind and again lovable school teacher in the extremely bizarre film Jack, and then of course being all sxy and cool and smart in Out of Sight. But then, sigh, then came The Cell and The Wedding Planner and Angel Eyes and Enough and Maid in Manhattan and Jersey Girl and Shall We Dance and Monster-in-Law. And there of course was her, to my mind at least, woefully misguided cheap celebrity music career and cheap celebrity perfume and all that nonsense.

Maybe her agents filled her head with ideas of empire and riches, maybe she really just wanted that kind of career, but whatever the reason, she undid all the early good will she earned and became, over time, something of a punchline. But now, can’t you feel her coming back? At least in terms of being smart, appealing J.Lo? Sure What to Expect When You’re Expecting doesn’t instill much confidence in her acting career, but at least as a judge on Idol she’s increasingly proving eminently likable and sharp, isn’t she? I really do like her as a judge this season — she’s kind and empathetic when need be, funny and breezy when the moment calls for it, and does a lot to ward off all the huff-breathed exhaustion that threatens to do-in this show in its eleventh weary season. So a toast to her! Well done, Jenny St. Block (her birth name). Too bad you have to deal with these other two.

I like Steven most of the time, I think he’s a funny weird old lady who speaks in shrieks and ancient sayings (don’t pet sweaty things), who probably does weird bone dances when home alone back in New Hampshire, and who has on way more than one occasion been known to respond to a question by saying “Jam tomorrow, jam yesterday, but never ever jam today!” But when Steven is paired up with Randy, old hoot-turtle Randy with his sloping King Bowser frame and meaningless vocabulary of Ubran Dictionary for Kidz expressions, they just make some bad decisions. Maybe last night’s episode was just edited to make it seem like Randy and Steven were putting through a bunch of pretty less-talented ladies in lieu of more talented less-pretty ones, but it certainly looked like that’s exactly what they were doing. J.Lo got understandably frustrated with them, but in the end was powerless to stop them. Come on, Randy and Steven. I know it’s tradition to take a salt wife during the long voyage of an Idol season, but just one. No need to send dozens of potentials through! Just make your pick and then go back to rewarding talent. (Not that this show ever only does that; beauty, or at least some approximation of it, is always a concern on this and any other show, obviously.) Because this is annoying and transparent. Maybe they should have another judge, another lady judge, to even things out. Annie Lennox is always performing on Idol Gives Back and stuff. Why not have her come aboard?

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